Chapter One: Telemarketers.
I work for the "Phonathon," at my college. Basically, we call alumni and ask for their money. While I'm not supposed to say anything about asking for money, as it could potentially discourage the donor, that's EXACTLY what it is. My job is mind numbingly simple. I sit at a computer, read the name of the person, butter them up with a little bit of small talk, and then hit them with the question: "Can I count on your support of the Otterbein College Annual Fund?"
Ughhh. I'm the person that everyone hates. Fantastic. Today, I worked from 1p.m.-9p.m. People do not like it when you ask them for money while they're eating their family dinner on a Sunday evening. Hey, I wouldn't either, but what am I supposed to do? I almost cried this evening when a woman answered the phone by snarkily asking, "Now, who can I help you find as you're calling at 7:30 dinner time?" I hate being rude. I hate being annoying. Why in the world am I working this job? Well, because it pays. And because I believe the money is going to a good cause, and, you know, helping to fund my scholarships for next year. My advanced apologies if I ever call you.
Chapter 2: Stage Makeup.
I'm taking stage makeup class this quarter. I covered my hands in fake blood and prosthetic, and ran down my dorm hallway screaming about burning myself with soup in the microwave. Hilarity ensued.
Chapter 3: Speaker Phone.
This evening, my entire family got together for a bit of a gathering. And, yes. I mean ENTIRE. So, they're all together, my parents and sister, and grandmother, and cousins and aunt and uncle, (who I only see a few times a year. ) First of all, with Easter coming this Sunday, I was greatly looking forward to seeing all of my family members. But, now that they've all seen each other tonight, they're not sure if they'll get together for Easter or not. But, that is almost beside the point. The point being...
My cousins, (who are youngins,) ask to "call me on speaker phone, so it's like I'm there with them." In addition to being an adorable thought, it was hilarious to hear my cousins scream into the phone to make sure I could hear them. I had just gotten off of an 8 hour shift, and I was rather hungry, having not eaten all day. So, I microwaved some soup (which was the fake cause of 3rd degree hand burns,) and listened to my family chat about their evening. (And of course, tell me all about the delicious meal they had just eaten together, all while I sipped my soup from a styrofoam cup.) Even though I wasn't able to be there in person, it was neat to talk to everyone at once via speaker phone. It's quite the interesting change in dynamic when you don't have to look at anyone in the eyes to carry on a conversation....
Chapter 4: Dear Abby.
People come to me with their problems. They ask me for advice. It's strange, because it's not like I've ever advertised myself as a problem solver or an advice giver. It's just like this vibe I must give out, or something, because it's been this way for as long as I can remember. I only bring this up because after I ended my family phone chat, my room was inundated with sobbing girls, asking for comfort, or advice, or anything to help them cope. So, I listened, answered questions, shared personal experiences, and danced around wearing a lei and a beanie while holding a garden gnome and a huge umbrella. Different cures for different people.
Sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine...
laterdays.